"This is your idea of 'lowkey'? And you know I have a doorknob, right?"
Just because he desperately wants to rekindle his friendship with Fizz doesn't mean he won't be critical when he feels it's warranted. He is Blitzo, after all. He quickly moves on, though.
"So what brings you to my office, anyway? This a social visit, or do you have someone you want to off?"
"What? I wore glasses!" Everyone knows that celebrities wear glasses to hide their identity, right? Sure Fizz's were a shade of neon and while he wasn't wearing his stage outfit, he was easily identifiable by the vibrant colours and foolscap but still!
"Besides, I saw three holes in the wall on the way in here. At least I used the door."
He rolls off the desk in a perfect backflip and finds that of course Blitzø doesn't have a fucking chair for anyone but himself in his office. So he settles for pacing around because he is not nervous, he just has a lot of energy all of the time. Shut up.
"Who'd I want to kill in the living world? No I wanted to, uh, ask a favour." And that said, Fizz braces for what is sure to be a round of asshole commentary from Blitzø.
Blitzo just gives him a look. That disguise isn't fooling anyone, but he moves on.
"Yeah, well, I've been trying to cut down on the damage to this place. Fixing this shit gets expensive."
Which leaves the question of what, exactly, is getting expensive since he clearly hasn't fixed the three holes in the wall. As far as he's concerned, he's taken care of it because he told Moxxie to fix it and moved on.
Who would Fizz want to kill? Blitzo shrugs. They've been out of contact for fifteen years. He could have gone to Earth and gotten some grudges in that time.
"Favor? What kind of favor? 'Cause if it's a sexual favor the answer is yes, but I'm surprised Ozzie doesn't have it all taken care of."
Because of course, Blitzo has to Blitzo and make a crude, inappropriate comment every chance he gets even though he knows perfectly well it's probably not a sexual favor.
He's about to point out that it doesn't look like Blitzø is fixing shit, but then there's that comment and oh those are fighting words. Fizz's lips stretch into a sharp grin to match Blitzø's, immediately rising to the challenge.
"Hah! You fucking wish it was that! Ozzie takes better care of me than you ever could, cause you know. He's the king of lust and all." And it doesn't hurt that there's also a lot of emotions there but he's getting distracted.
"No, I wanted to ask if you could help me with..." Fizz's tail flicks back and forth before he curls it around himself instinctively. "You know, you said I was bad at combat and it's true. I'm not good at fighting and I've never had to be but now that the secret's out... maybe I should try and learn?"
His gaze flicks to Blitzø and away, because fuck he knows this is embarrassing, having to ask someone he's mocked on more than one occasion for help and he wouldn't blame Blitzø for telling him to leave.
"Ozzie tries his best, you know? But he can't be everywhere and I don't want to make him worry."
"Oh! So you want me to teach you a bit of my fighting expertise?" He pauses for a moment, reveling in the fact that he's the one Fizz came to for help. "I mean, it is kind of amazing that you've managed to get by in Hell this long without being able to throw a fucking punch. Sure, I'll give you fighting lessons."
Because he's seen how lacking Fizz is in that department, and he really doesn't want anything to happen to him. With how creepy some of his fans are...yeah, it's really a skill Fizz needs.
"Hey! I can throw a punch!" He just struggled to figure out where to go after that. Whatever Blitzø has been up to the past 15 years, it's pretty clear that he doesn't have that problem.
"But really? You'll help?" Alright it's actually a relief to hear that, since he hadn't been sure how this was gonna go when he'd come up with this idea. "And there's no weird catch?"
He saw how well Fizz did when they were escaping Crimson and his goons. When Fizz asks if there's a catch, a wicked grin spreads across Blitzo's face.
"Oh yeah, I totally should have put something weird in. Let's see..."
He pauses, acting like he's carefully considering what kind of weird shit he can make Fizz do...then stops with a dismissive gesture.
"Nah. There's no catch. I figure with how shit you are at 'laying low', I might get stuck constantly rescuing you if I don't teach you the basics. I don't have time for that shit, so I'm teaching you the basics."
"Fuck you, it's just making a fist and throwing it out there, right? How hard could it possibly be??" Especially with his metal arms, it seemed like all he'd need is a few pointers, right?
Fizz's grin returns full force as Blitzø accepts. "Thanks Blitz! It'll take, what? Maybe an afternoon? And what with me quitting my job, I kinda have a lot of free time on my hands.
"So when do we start?? I'm so ready, I'll show you!" To back it up, Fizz made a fist and jabbed it haphazardly in the direction of the wall. "I'll pick this up in no time!"
"Oh, fucking Satan, this is going to take a while," he mutters to himself. Granted, the metal arm might make up for Fizz's lack of any actual skill in combat and at least means he won't be breaking his thumb.
"Yeah, it's uh...it's going to take a lot longer than one afternoon. I'm gonna just..."
He pulls out a calendar and starts flipping through it. Fizz might notice that Blitzo doesn't have anything lined up for the rest of the day, and yet he keeps looking at the calendar like he's figuring something out.
"Thursdays look pretty light for the next couple weeks. I could probably get any hits done by noon and we could make it a regular thing."
Because no way is he going to get this done in just one session.
Fizz definitely notices the empty day, but he's also slightly surprised to see how many full days Blitzo has. He'd be one of the first to admit that between working for Mammon and Asmodeus his life experiences might have been a little more sheltered in some ways than other imps, but who knew that the assassin business was that popular?
Blitzo might have wanted to keep his schedule private, but Fizz is immediately in his space and looking over his shoulder at it.
"You're that booked out? You really are good at this action bullshit, aren't you?" There's still 15 years of lingering resentment that wants to make a snide comment about people actually wanting to hire Blitzo, but he swallows it.
"Fuck yeah I am! But honestly, humans are pretty fucking easy to kill, and not a lot of imps have access to the human world."
Which means he doesn't have a lot of competition, and so he's the only hope of revenge for a lot of people. Since he's just appearing wherever he needs to be, killing a human before they even know what's happening and getting out, with most hits there's really not a lot to it.
Fizz rolls his eyes as Blitzo well, was Blitzo. But there's a smile there at the same time because it's kind of nice to hear him bragging again without the rush of hurt that usually came with it.
"So Thursdays, huh?" His own schedule is a lot emptier than Blitzo's now - evenings working at Ozzie's notwithstanding. He could probably make sure that big daddy was busy in the afternoon, give himself a couple of hours with Blitzo before the evening shift. Satan, he could probably tell Oz that he was taking a day off and get a pass, he couldn't remember the last time that happened.
"I guess I can make that work, if you're really sure we're going to need that much time. I mean, in case you forgot, I learn pretty fast. I might be better than you in a week."
"Yeah, Thursdays. And if those fill up I'll shoot you a text and move shit around."
Because his life is pretty chaotic, so he can't count on a day staying open indefinitely.
"And yeah, you learn fast, but it takes more than a day to learn how to fight."
He can't deny that Fizz was way better at learning...well, pretty much everything in the circus than he was. That's why his dad liked Fizz better, and that's why Blitzo was such a disappointment. Still, fighting's a skill, and it takes time to learn.
Because now he thinks about it, he has no idea what Blitzo has been up to over the last 15 or so years. Like yeah, he's seen the I.M.P ads on occasion but that seemed more recent and other than that he'd never gone looking. He hadn't wanted to know.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: self-impeding
Just because he desperately wants to rekindle his friendship with Fizz doesn't mean he won't be critical when he feels it's warranted. He is Blitzo, after all. He quickly moves on, though.
"So what brings you to my office, anyway? This a social visit, or do you have someone you want to off?"
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"Besides, I saw three holes in the wall on the way in here. At least I used the door."
He rolls off the desk in a perfect backflip and finds that of course Blitzø doesn't have a fucking chair for anyone but himself in his office. So he settles for pacing around because he is not nervous, he just has a lot of energy all of the time. Shut up.
"Who'd I want to kill in the living world? No I wanted to, uh, ask a favour." And that said, Fizz braces for what is sure to be a round of asshole commentary from Blitzø.
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"Yeah, well, I've been trying to cut down on the damage to this place. Fixing this shit gets expensive."
Which leaves the question of what, exactly, is getting expensive since he clearly hasn't fixed the three holes in the wall. As far as he's concerned, he's taken care of it because he told Moxxie to fix it and moved on.
Who would Fizz want to kill? Blitzo shrugs. They've been out of contact for fifteen years. He could have gone to Earth and gotten some grudges in that time.
"Favor? What kind of favor? 'Cause if it's a sexual favor the answer is yes, but I'm surprised Ozzie doesn't have it all taken care of."
Because of course, Blitzo has to Blitzo and make a crude, inappropriate comment every chance he gets even though he knows perfectly well it's probably not a sexual favor.
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"Hah! You fucking wish it was that! Ozzie takes better care of me than you ever could, cause you know. He's the king of lust and all." And it doesn't hurt that there's also a lot of emotions there but he's getting distracted.
"No, I wanted to ask if you could help me with..." Fizz's tail flicks back and forth before he curls it around himself instinctively. "You know, you said I was bad at combat and it's true. I'm not good at fighting and I've never had to be but now that the secret's out... maybe I should try and learn?"
His gaze flicks to Blitzø and away, because fuck he knows this is embarrassing, having to ask someone he's mocked on more than one occasion for help and he wouldn't blame Blitzø for telling him to leave.
"Ozzie tries his best, you know? But he can't be everywhere and I don't want to make him worry."
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Because he's seen how lacking Fizz is in that department, and he really doesn't want anything to happen to him. With how creepy some of his fans are...yeah, it's really a skill Fizz needs.
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"But really? You'll help?" Alright it's actually a relief to hear that, since he hadn't been sure how this was gonna go when he'd come up with this idea. "And there's no weird catch?"
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He saw how well Fizz did when they were escaping Crimson and his goons. When Fizz asks if there's a catch, a wicked grin spreads across Blitzo's face.
"Oh yeah, I totally should have put something weird in. Let's see..."
He pauses, acting like he's carefully considering what kind of weird shit he can make Fizz do...then stops with a dismissive gesture.
"Nah. There's no catch. I figure with how shit you are at 'laying low', I might get stuck constantly rescuing you if I don't teach you the basics. I don't have time for that shit, so I'm teaching you the basics."
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Fizz's grin returns full force as Blitzø accepts. "Thanks Blitz! It'll take, what? Maybe an afternoon? And what with me quitting my job, I kinda have a lot of free time on my hands.
"So when do we start?? I'm so ready, I'll show you!" To back it up, Fizz made a fist and jabbed it haphazardly in the direction of the wall. "I'll pick this up in no time!"
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"Yeah, it's uh...it's going to take a lot longer than one afternoon. I'm gonna just..."
He pulls out a calendar and starts flipping through it. Fizz might notice that Blitzo doesn't have anything lined up for the rest of the day, and yet he keeps looking at the calendar like he's figuring something out.
"Thursdays look pretty light for the next couple weeks. I could probably get any hits done by noon and we could make it a regular thing."
Because no way is he going to get this done in just one session.
no subject
Blitzo might have wanted to keep his schedule private, but Fizz is immediately in his space and looking over his shoulder at it.
"You're that booked out? You really are good at this action bullshit, aren't you?" There's still 15 years of lingering resentment that wants to make a snide comment about people actually wanting to hire Blitzo, but he swallows it.
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Which means he doesn't have a lot of competition, and so he's the only hope of revenge for a lot of people. Since he's just appearing wherever he needs to be, killing a human before they even know what's happening and getting out, with most hits there's really not a lot to it.
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"So Thursdays, huh?" His own schedule is a lot emptier than Blitzo's now - evenings working at Ozzie's notwithstanding. He could probably make sure that big daddy was busy in the afternoon, give himself a couple of hours with Blitzo before the evening shift. Satan, he could probably tell Oz that he was taking a day off and get a pass, he couldn't remember the last time that happened.
"I guess I can make that work, if you're really sure we're going to need that much time. I mean, in case you forgot, I learn pretty fast. I might be better than you in a week."
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Because his life is pretty chaotic, so he can't count on a day staying open indefinitely.
"And yeah, you learn fast, but it takes more than a day to learn how to fight."
He can't deny that Fizz was way better at learning...well, pretty much everything in the circus than he was. That's why his dad liked Fizz better, and that's why Blitzo was such a disappointment. Still, fighting's a skill, and it takes time to learn.
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Because now he thinks about it, he has no idea what Blitzo has been up to over the last 15 or so years. Like yeah, he's seen the I.M.P ads on occasion but that seemed more recent and other than that he'd never gone looking. He hadn't wanted to know.
"What have you even been doing all this time?"
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It's not like Fizz is going to need to kill a roomful of government agents, after all. What has he been doing all this time? Blitzo shrugs.
"A lot of sex. A lot of murder. And I got horse riding lessons."